Kiado-Ryu Karate

Mar 6, 2023 - Feature of the Week

Grown Ups, Own Up

From Parenting Wisdom: What to Teach the Children by Richard Andrew King.

If there is any one thing that separates “grown ups” from children it is that Grown Ups, Own Up. Adults take responsibility for their own actions and do not blame others for their choices or lot in life. As the famous Indian Saint, Guru Nanak (the first of the ten Sikh Gurus), emphatically stated:

I blame not another; I blame my own karmas. Whatever I sowed, so did I reap. Why then put the blame on others?

Saint Guru Nanak

This is exactly what Grown Ups do—they take responsibility for their lives because they understand the great law of Cause and Effect, Sowing and Reaping, Karma.

Corroborating Guru Nanak’s statement, Saint Dadu Dayal remarked:

What thou hast not done will never befall thee; only what thou hast done will befall thee.

Saint Dadu Dayal

Translated into modern speech, Dadu’s statement would read:

What you have not done will never happen to you; only what you have done will happen to you.

So it goes with all highly evolved souls. They understand that what happens to them is by their own hand, by their own doing. They never blame others because to blame others would be to deny the science and reality of life. Saints know, and all mature individuals know, that to be an adult means to take responsibility for oneself and one’s actions, i.e., Grown Ups, Own Up.

It may seem obvious that adult individuals own up to their own lives and actions, but is this true? How many Grown Ups actually own up to their lives, choices, circumstances, responsibilities, obligations, financial conditions, and relationship interactions? Furthermore, and more importantly, how many Grown Ups are truly accountable and responsible for their mistakes, faults, failings, and shortcomings?

We live in an age where owning up seems to be a dying virtue, like so many other virtues. It’s so easy to pass the buck and blame someone else. We see such adolescent behavior in all walks of life and even at the pinnacle of those in the hallowed halls of leadership. And that is exactly what passing the buck is—adolescent. It is not adult behavior. It is childish behavior. Just because a person lives in a biologically adult body does not make him or her an adult. Why? Because Grown Ups, Own Up, and being “grown up” means owning up and being accountable for one’s actions.

Teaching Tips

  1. When kids begin to approach their teen years, it’s time to begin stressing and reinforcing the Grown Ups, Own Up maxim. Too many kids today, in spite of growing into biologically mature bodies, are not growing into a mature adult mindset. It takes maturity to be an adult, not simply age.
  2. Every time a child is confronted with a choice, remind him or her of the consequences of that choice, and do your best to guide him or her to the right choice. Don’t overdo it but do keep the concept of Grown Ups, Own Up constantly before them until they become its manifestation. This harmonizes with Your Life, Your Responsibility, and so many of the other concepts featured in this work, especially those related to personal character.